Practicing Self-Love: A Journey to Embracing Yourself Fully

By Sophie Vonner, MA, NCC, LPC-A

Self-love is often misunderstood. It’s not just about self-care routines, treating yourself, or repeating affirmations in the mirror. True self-love is about how you show up for yourself in every moment, how you speak to yourself during tough times, how you set boundaries to protect your peace, and how you prioritize your mental, emotional, and physical well-being. It’s about recognizing your worth, independent of what you accomplish or how others perceive you.

For many, self-love can feel impossible, especially if you’ve spent years putting others before yourself or battling self-doubt. If you’ve ever struggled with negative self-talk, compared yourself to others, or sought validation from external sources, you are not alone. Many of us have been conditioned to believe that our worth is tied to productivity, approval, or perfection. The truth is, you are worthy of love just as you are without conditions, without exceptions.

One of the first steps toward self-love is changing the way you speak to yourself. Pay attention to your inner dialogue. If your thoughts are filled with self-criticism, pause and ask yourself, Would I speak to a loved one this way? Instead of saying, I’m not good enough, try shifting to I am doing my best, and that is enough. Learning to replace self-judgment with self-compassion is essential to building a loving relationship with yourself.

Setting boundaries is another crucial act of self-love. You cannot pour from an empty cup, and constantly putting others’ needs before your own will only lead to exhaustion and resentment. Saying no to situations that drain you and yes to those that nourish you is not selfish,it is necessary. Protecting your energy and surrounding yourself with people who respect and uplift you is a fundamental part of honoring your self-worth.

Many struggle with seeking validation from others, believing that their worth depends on external approval. True self-love comes from within. You do not need permission to value yourself. You are not defined by how others see you or what they expect of you. Learning to trust your own feelings and experiences, rather than relying on outside validation, is a powerful and freeing experience.

Prioritizing your own needs is a key part of self-love. Ask yourself daily, What do I need right now? It could be rest, movement, solitude, connection, or simply a moment of stillness. Listening to and honoring your needs is not a luxury,it is a necessity. Just as you show up for those you love, you must also show up for yourself.

Self-love also requires forgiveness. We all make mistakes, have regrets, and wish we had done things differently. Holding onto guilt and shame only keeps you stuck in the past. Choosing to forgive yourself, to release the burden of past missteps, and to move forward with grace is an act of profound self-compassion.

Taking care of yourself is not just about indulgence but about doing what truly nourishes you. Eating well, getting enough sleep, engaging in activities that bring you joy, and taking breaks when needed are all acts of self-love. Sometimes, self-care looks like setting boundaries, stepping away from toxic situations, or allowing yourself to rest without guilt.

Lastly, celebrate yourself. Too often, we focus on what we haven’t done rather than acknowledging how far we’ve come. Every step you take toward self-love no matter how small; is progress. Take a moment to recognize your growth, your resilience, and your strength.

Loving yourself is not a destination; it is a lifelong journey. Some days will feel easier than others, and that’s okay. What matters is that you continue to show up for yourself with kindness and patience. You are worthy of love, not because of what you do, but simply because you exist.

If self-love feels like a struggle, therapy can provide the support and guidance needed to break old patterns and build a healthier, more compassionate relationship with yourself. You don’t have to walk this journey alone, I am here to help.