Finding Yourself Again: Reconnecting with Who You Are

By Sophie Vonner, MA, NCC, LPC-A

At some point in life, we all reach a moment where we feel disconnected from ourselves. Maybe you’ve spent years prioritizing others, molding yourself to fit relationships, jobs, or expectations that weren’t truly yours. Maybe you’ve gone through a major life transition; like becoming a parent, ending a long-term relationship, or overcoming trauma and now, you’re left wondering, Who am I, really?

The journey back to yourself isn’t about becoming someone new. It’s about peeling away the layers of conditioning, self-doubt, and fear to rediscover the person you were always meant to be.

Why Do We Lose Ourselves?

Losing yourself doesn’t happen overnight. It’s often a slow process, shaped by different life experiences, responsibilities, and emotional wounds. Here are some common reasons why people feel disconnected from themselves:

• People-Pleasing – You’ve spent so much time making others happy that you’ve neglected your own needs.

• Toxic Relationships – You’ve adapted to fit someone else’s expectations, slowly losing touch with what makes you happy.

• Unresolved Trauma – Suppressing your emotions and avoiding pain has distanced you from your true self.

• Societal Pressures – You’ve followed a life path that was expected of you rather than one that truly excites you.

• Parenthood & Caregiving – Giving so much of yourself to others has left little space to explore your own desires and dreams.

• Lack of Boundaries – You’ve been saying “yes” to everyone but yourself, leaving no room for self-discovery.

If any of these resonate with you, know that it’s never too late to reconnect with yourself.

Steps to Rediscover Who You Are

1. Reflect on What Truly Matters to You

Spend time getting to know yourself again. Ask yourself:

• What brings me joy?

• What hobbies or passions have I let go of?

• What kind of life do I truly want to live?

Journaling can be a powerful tool for self-reflection. Write down your thoughts, your desires, and even your fears. Getting them out of your head and onto paper can bring clarity.

2. Release What No Longer Serves You

Take an honest look at the things, people, and beliefs that keep you stuck. Let go of what drains you; whether that’s toxic relationships, outdated beliefs about yourself, or obligations that no longer align with who you are. Growth requires shedding old layers. You are allowed to evolve.

3. Try New Experiences

When was the last time you did something just for fun? Give yourself permission to explore new hobbies, activities, or creative outlets. Sign up for that art class, go on that solo trip, or simply try a new coffee shop. New experiences awaken new parts of yourself.

4. Practice Self-Compassion

Be gentle with yourself. You won’t have all the answers overnight, and that’s okay. Self-discovery is not about perfection; it’s about curiosity. Talk to yourself with the same kindness and patience that you’d offer a friend.

5. Set Boundaries

You cannot pour from an empty cup. Protect your energy by saying no to things that drain you and yes to things that nourish you. Surround yourself with people who support and uplift you.

6. Reconnect with Your Body & Mind

Your body holds wisdom. Spend time nurturing it through movement, mindfulness, or meditation. Whether it’s yoga, walking in nature, or simply taking deep breaths, grounding yourself in the present moment can help you reconnect with who you are.

You Are Worth Knowing

Finding yourself again isn’t about fixing something broken; it’s about rediscovering the parts of you that have been waiting to be acknowledged. It’s about embracing change rather than fearing it. You are allowed to grow. You are allowed to change. You are allowed to put yourself first.

If you’re struggling to reconnect with yourself, therapy can be a powerful tool in this journey. You don’t have to do this alone. I’m here to walk alongside you.