Breaking Free from Toxic Relationships: Recognizing the Signs & Reclaiming Your Power

By Sophie Vonner, MA, NCC, LPC-A

Toxic relationships can be some of the most draining, confusing, and painful experiences in life. Whether it’s a romantic partner, family member, or friend, the constant cycle of manipulation, gaslighting, and emotional instability can leave you feeling unworthy, trapped, and exhausted.

Many people stay in toxic relationships because they believe things will change, because of shared history, or out of fear of being alone. The truth is, you deserve peace, love, and respect. If a relationship consistently makes you question your worth or feel emotionally drained, it may be time to reevaluate its place in your life.

Signs of a Toxic Relationship

A toxic relationship isn’t just one bad argument or an off day. It’s a repeated pattern of behaviors that cause emotional distress. Here are some signs to watch out for:

• Constant Criticism & Belittling – You feel like nothing you do is ever enough, and you’re frequently put down.

• Manipulation & Gaslighting – They twist situations to make you feel guilty or question your own reality.

• Lack of Accountability – They never take responsibility for their actions and always shift the blame.

• Emotional Rollercoaster – One day, they love and adore you; the next, they ignore or mistreat you.

• Isolation – They discourage or guilt-trip you about spending time with other people.

• Walking on Eggshells – You’re constantly afraid of upsetting them or triggering a negative reaction.

• Breaking Your Boundaries – They ignore your needs, disrespect your limits, and push you into uncomfortable situations.

Recognizing these signs is the first step in taking your power back.

Why We Stay in Toxic Relationships

Many people stay in unhealthy relationships, not because they want to, but because of deep-rooted fears and emotional attachments. Common reasons include:

• Fear of Being Alone – The idea of starting over can feel overwhelming.

• Hope for Change – Holding onto the belief that they will eventually become the person you need.

• Past Trauma & Attachment Issues – Your childhood experiences may have shaped your idea of love and relationships.

• Low Self-Esteem – Feeling like you don’t deserve better or that this is the best you can get.

• Manipulation & Love Bombing – Toxic people often show affection in extreme ways to keep you attached.

It’s important to challenge these beliefs and recognize that love should not be painful or conditional.

How to Break Free & Heal

1. Acknowledge the Truth – Accept that the relationship is unhealthy and is not serving your well-being.

2. Set Firm Boundaries – Stop engaging in toxic cycles. Limit or cut off contact if needed.

3. Seek Support – Therapy, trusted friends, or support groups can help you through the process.

4. Prioritize Self-Care – Focus on activities that make you feel good, whether it’s journaling, meditation, or new hobbies.

5. Rebuild Your Confidence – Remind yourself that you are deserving of love, respect, and peace.

6. Forgive Yourself – It’s okay if you stayed longer than you should have. Healing is not about blaming yourself but about learning and moving forward.

You Deserve Healthy Love

Leaving a toxic relationship is not easy, but staying in one will only continue to drain you. The love you give so freely to others? It’s time to pour that back into yourself. You are strong enough to walk away, heal, and find the peace you deserve.

If you’re struggling to navigate this journey, I’m here to support you. You don’t have to do this alone.